The Morning After
by kit-kat-151
Summary: The morning after the night before - the first morning after the handcuffs. L and Light reflect on what happened between them last night. WARNING: Yaoi/Rape/Violence
1. L's Point of View

The Morning After

L's PoV

I am sitting on the floor of my room, with my back to the bed, I have no desire to remind myself of what I did last night, no desire to see the naked teenager chained to the bed or the red marks across his body. I think I am in a state of shock; horrified by the long repressed side of my nature which was revealed last night.

Simply watching Light undress caused something deep inside me to snap, I remember clearly pouncing on him and throwing him onto the bed, chaining him to the headboard and kissing him roughly.

As I sit on the floor I try to think it through rationally, my thoughts muddled and confused, yesterday I was L, the innocent reclusive detective, with absolutely no sexual experience, so where hell had that come from? How had I known what I was doing? Because I certainly had known what I was doing to my young captive, I remember being perfectly aware that I was hurting him, that what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't make myself stop, I didn't want to.

I let my mind wonder back to that moment, remembering the feeling, remembering the pleasure, I try to remember his reactions, it is hard to do, I had been so caught up in my own enjoyment, and I remember little else clearly. But I seem to remember that he looked to be enjoying it, not that I had bothered to ask permission, or even paused for him to object. I had pinned him down with all the skills of an experienced rapist, a rapist? Is that what I am? I suppose it must be. I ought to arrest myself right now, I am not above the law, not serious laws, there are things I can get away with of course, for the greater good, like tying up Misa Amane for weeks, or bugging Lights room, but rape is different, I don't think I can ever trust myself again.

I can hear Light stir, beginning to wake up. Suddenly it dawns on me that I have just committed a violent crime against my one Kira suspect, as this terrible realisation strikes me I sink lower into the floor, sobbing pitifully to myself, unable to move.

Hearing Light whimpering in pain I silently crawl under the bed hugging my knees to my chest and crying noiselessly into my jeans, after a while Light falls silent, so I slowly peer over the top of the bed. I can see that the teen is unconscious, has Light passed out again due to the pain? Looking at the his body I can see how badly I have hurt him, but as much as I hate myself right now, I can't help the burning desire to kiss the teenager, I stand up and head into the small en suite bathroom to run some warm water over clean towels, I fetch a first aid kit from the cupboard and return to where Light lays.

First I remove the cuffs, and clean the blood from Light's wrists where the metal has cut into his skin, I kiss each wound before I bandage it, moving down the boy's body as tears roll down my face. I put plasters and bandages over all the horrible red marks spoiling Lights perfect skin. Having done all I can to try and help him, I place a couple of painkillers on the bedside table with a glass of water, and retreat under the bed, tears still streaking down my cheeks.

"L?" I hear him call my name "L?" he calls again "I know you are there, please come out."

I emerge from under my hiding place. Cautiously peeking at him from the foot of the bed as he studies the shadows beneath my red eyes, and the tracks the tears have left on my cheeks.

"L? Are you ok?" he questions,  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I burst into tears again; amazed that he should be concerned for me.  
"L, what's wrong?" he tries to move towards me now, ignoring the pain I can see written across his face, he crawls down the bed and wraps his arms around me.  
"Aren't you angry Light-Kun?" I ask, puzzled and slightly exited by his arms around me.  
"What? No, L, how could I be?" Light looks into my eyes, and I can see that he honestly doesn't hate me.  
"I don't understand? I hurt you, I, I'm a monster" I press, convinced that the boy must be in denial.  
"No you're not, Please don't be upset" he is pleading with me now, but I'm sure he can't mean it.  
"I will hand myself in, I should be arrested" I continue  
"No! Please L, you can't, I won't let you" is he actually begging me now?  
"But it's not safe, there is something wrong with me, I should be locked up, what if I do it again?" I try to reason with him, surely that should convince him that I am a horrible person.  
"I wouldn't mind" Light mumbles, his cheeks flushed red. I feel the shock spread across my face, and I know that I am blushing too.  
"Light-Kun? What are you saying? I raped you" I whisper the last three words, my world crumbling around me as I speak aloud the words that have tortured me all morning.  
"Is it really rape if the other person wants it ?" he replies, smiling now as he wraps his arms around me tighter, pulling me into an embrace and pressing his lips to mine, he kisses me softly and whispers that he loves me.

Please review!! I really want to know what you think of my writing.....

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	2. Light's Point of View

The Morning After

Light's PoV

As I open my eyes, something feels wrong, I feel wrong, I try to move my hands to brush my hair out of my face, and that is when I notice the chain, binding my arms above my head, twisted and bloody, the sight of it brings last night sharply into focus. I shudder, with mixed memories of pain and pleasure, the movement shooting discomfort through parts of my body I didn't know I had. What did L do to me! I try moving my head to look around, the pain almost blinds me. I try to roll over, and my whole body is burning in protest. I make one last attempt to look around me, but the pain is too much and I fall back into unconsciousness.

When my awareness slowly returns to me, I don't open my eyes, afraid of what I might find; instead I listen, trying to work out if I am alone. I can hear muffled sounds from somewhere beneath the bed, telling me that L is still here, I open my eyes cautiously slowly turning my head to look around.

I notice that my arms are no longer bound above my head, and there are painkillers and a glass of water on the bedside table, I reach out to take them, and see that my wrists have been washed and bandaged; clearly L has been fiddling with me whist I slept. I swallow the pills and try to sit up, wincing at the pain, I think back to last night remembering the excitement I felt when the detective pinned me down, the thrill that raced through my body when he kissed me, biting at my lips; the pain as he entered me and the incredible pleasure when he thrust deeper, I definitely enjoyed last night, but was it worth this, the pain? I'm not so sure.

"L?" I call the older man's name and the noises from under the bed cease immediately, I even wonder whether he is still breathing "L?" I call again "I know you are there, please come out."

I am considering getting up and dragging the detective out, when I notice L peeking at me from the foot of the bed. The shadows beneath his bloodshot eyes even darker now and I can see the tracks tears have left on his cheeks.

"L? Are you ok?" I ask, Worried now.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" L bursts into tears again and I wonder what he is so upset about.  
"L, what's wrong?" I force myself to move now, ignoring the pain as I crawl down the bed and wrap my arms around the shocked detective  
"Aren't you angry Light-Kun?"  
"What?" I had totally forgotten about being angry the moment L had looked at me, I probably should be angry, I wonder why I'm not. Can I really pretend I didn't enjoy last night? Looking at L now I know I can't, every second of last night was worth it, I would take as much pain as necessary to have L touch me again.  
"No, L, how could I be angry?" It hurts to look into his dark pain filled eyes.  
"I don't understand? I hurt you, I, I'm a monster" he insists.  
"No you're not, Please don't be upset" I think I am beginning to understand why he is so distraught.  
"I will hand myself in, I should be arrested" He continues.  
"No! Please L, you can't, I won't let you" I don't think I could live without him now.  
"But it's not safe, there is something wrong with me, I should be locked up, what if I do it again?" he insists.  
"I wouldn't mind" I mumble, and I feel the heat rising in my cheeks.  
"Light-Kun? What are you saying? I raped you!" L whispers the last three words, and I realise he still doesn't know how I feel.  
"Is it really rape if the other person wants it?" I ask, obviously hinting at my feelings for him, his eyes widen as he gazes up at me and I pull him closer locking my arms around his delicate body and kissing him softly, "I love you L" I whisper in his ear, "I think I always have"

Please review!! I really want to know what you think of my writing.....and which version you prefered? and why?

Thanks


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